It’s very rare when I make the typical weekend trip to Las Vegas, because for someone who goes often like I do there’s no reason at all to fight the crowds - and the Friday/Sunday traffic every step of the way. But my most recent trip was a bit different, in that I went for the purpose of taking care of my son-in-law and his friends with hotel rooms so they could enjoy their “guy’s weekend away”.

There is a ton of information being spread all over the Internet saying how badly visitor frequency is in Las Vegas these days. And guess what? They’re absolutely right. An afternoon drive from Phoenix is normally an irritation to behold, yet on this day it was smooth sailing from start to finish. The only bottleneck was the 20 minute wait for valet parking at Planet Hollywood. The reason was understandable. Sheryl Crow was performing that night.

Inside after a fully comped dinner for us all, the young guys took off and I decided to stay and play a couple Advanced Romp-Thru-Town (ARTT) 4-level $1/$2/$5/$10 sessions, shooting for a $500 profit overall. Bad choice. After getting beat up to the tune of $7800 with no decent winners at all - and UNBELIEVABLY including ZERO full-houses while losing 830 credits (insert several cuss words) - I left disgusted, and headed over to Caesar’s where I was staying.

But one of the Planet Hollywood machines showed me just how biased the video poker games can really be when the time comes, and if there’s still any math people or paraphernalia-selling famous names out there who want to believe video poker machines don’t have patterns and can’t possibly be programmed to run in hot & cold cycles at times – they remain in denial and as confused as ever.

On $10 TBP+ (which pays 1200 credits for four Aces) within my 300 credits on the 2nd ARTT session, I was dealt the very intriguing hand of three Aces A TOTAL OF SEVEN TIMES! When each one of those happen on such a high denomination machine you tend to skip a beat now and then. But this particular set of events offered even more – in addition to being very, very strange an occurrence within so few credits. And to exacerbate the whole issue, there were NO OTHER TRIPS DEALT during the 300 credits. I thought I was really playing at an on-line casino, noted for their crooked games and challenging ethics!

The first time the trip Aces was dealt, I figured what a player always figures whenever that happens: It was interesting, and if it didn’t materialize into four of them I’d be disappointed, but I’d “understand”. Of course, as soon as that happens you feel like you blew your one big chance for a great big winner. So what happens next? Yes, three more Aces on the deal. Now you suddenly feel redeemed, and very capable of drawing to the big winner this time around. Confidence abounds.

But when another failure occurs you believe that the session just wasn’t meant to be a winner, certainly, you’ve been allowed two of the most fantastic yet unexpected opportunities in a row that just didn’t convert for you, so it’s almost like you’re now trying to get it all over with as quickly as possible. Now it’s time to pull yourself together, and a look at the number of credits remaining, about 200, gives renewed hope.

Just several more hands and just as I was trying my best to forget the missed chances and hope for a dealt quad of ANY kind, three MORE Aces popped out on the deal. Once again my hope level went sky high, and once again I was let down. It was almost as if this episode of my play was being filmed by some of my critics!

So there I was, embroiled in a losing session that had multiple failed opportunities for a $12,000 hit. But the game of video poker is very unforgiving – as I’ve said many times before and for good reason. To my surprise, one more set of Aces was dealt, but true to form, that’s all there was after the draw. Then almost unbelievably, the same hand appeared on the very next deal with the very same result on the draw. At this point, I knew there was something up with the program in this machine. No way five sets of Aces on a high-paying Aces machine could ever do this.

Near the merciful end of my 300 credits and with the emotions of the unusual session building up, again three more Aces were dealt, and again I failed to connect. So to rub salt into my multiple wounds at this point, what happens next? Yup, I get three more Aces dealt for the 7th time – with six of them being paired in back-to-back form. And no, I did not get the fourth this time either.

Moments later, my credits were gone, but I sat there red-faced and stared at the machine for another five minutes. Oh....if my critics could have been there it would have made their day! But I knew I had made a mistake. My discipline tells me NEVER to stay and play at a machine that continually tempts and mocks you. The hot-shot programmer got the best of me and then some on this one. I do most things right which is why I win so consistently, but I never saw this coming and I was completely in a video poker trance. Just like any loser.

It was like I was showing respect to a very worthy enemy that completely knew how to defeat me, while humiliating me at the same time. There has been no worse time in my video poker-playing career—not in terms of amount of money lost—but in terms of HOW it was lost. My whole game and strategy is based on hitting four Aces. This session did some damage.

I was still in a daze as I checked into Caesar’s Palace, and after going to my room I found I just couldn’t rest without experiencing a quad of some sort….totally out of character for a disciplined player such as myself. So down I went, and upon checking my remaining bankroll I found I had just enough left to play an abbreviated version of Romp-Thru-Town strategy. This was meant to win a minimum of $500, playing 100 credits each at $1, $2, $5 & $10 Bonus Poker only. I had about $2000 remaining, which meant I had 400 remaining credits to catch a quad and get some of my dignity back. I’ve gone through quad dry spells many times before, but none so humbling and frustrating as what I had just experienced.

Caesar’s doesn’t have 4-level machines – only a $1/$2/$5 bank with the $10 version stuck on a $5/$10/$25 machine inside the high limit room. The one difference? The lower limits here have 7/5 Bonus Poker while the BP in the high limit room is 8/5. Of course, none of that matters to me, but I know some people who would have a coronary over it.

I began play by recognizing that I had left my player’s card up in my room. Now to some that would instantly send them on a journey back to their room, but for me it was of no issue. Playing for the points at a time like this? HA! No matter...I lost 300 credits ($800) on the lower limit machine ASAP without even a full house. More misery.

As I angrily and timidly walked into the high limit room to play on the $10 machine, I could feel myself turning into just what I preach to and teach others to stay away from. I was letting the machines control me with their mockery and it wasn’t good. Still I gave in, and still, I fed 100 credits ($1000) into the machines for my final go at trying to hit a quad.

It wasn’t to be, but halfway through my credits I was dealt an uninspiring four-to-the-royal – uninspiring simply because high value deals just weren’t that meaningful for me on this night. I was missing the Jack of spades, and yes, this time the one card I needed did show up for a fantastic win. But how fantastic can a win be when there’s no excitement attached to it?

But this one came at a cost – the cost of not knowing who I was any more regardless of just being paid $40,000 in cash. One thing I did not waver from was in not handing out any “tips” to those employees who came over to congratulate me as they hung around until I stashed every last bill into my bag. Tip them for what? Did they come over and hand ME a tip when I was losing earlier?

The rest of the weekend I played no more other than to go through some free-play I had, and I trained several players without telling them about the strange events from late Friday. I didn’t know what to say and how to say it. I decided to think things over when I returned home Sunday afternoon. I’m actually not all that sure I’m going to continue playing in 2009 after this went down the way it did. Sure I was successful financially, but I was a dismal failure in following through on the right thing to do in casinos.

One thing’s for certain: I won’t play anything other than free-play once through for the remainder of 2008. I’ve always said I’d retire from play for good once I attained an overall profit of $1,000,000 from the machines. Right now I’m at +$974,000 from 1997 to today, and the question is: Is close enough good enough? I’ll answer that before the end of the year.