Alright you got me - I’m being a little facetious in the title. The trips I make these days are not for any serious profit, but rather just for scooping up as much of the free stuff I'm able to that the casinos continue to offer at a record-breaking pace. And the shenanigans on videopoker.com? Well, since I promised not to devote any future e-newsletters to that forum, and because I CONTINUE to receive lots of e-mails from their readers who want to know what my thoughts are on what some of their posters have to say, I’ll give them a once over here but I won’t be doing it again.

First though, let’s talk a little about the trip to Laughlin and Las Vegas I just returned from last evening. Friday, after arriving in Laughlin, I went into the Edgewater to play $100 in free-play that was pre-loaded onto my card. This is important because I do not have to check in to get the play like most casinos require. Once through – and that is the ONLY way to play free-play – and I had $105. Really, it is easy money. But they are starting to cut my amount down, as next month it is only $20 X 2 visits. For that amount, I’ll stop by only if I receive anything of value from the other Laughlin casinos.

I checked into the Aquarius next on a full comp, had lunch at Outback, then walked across the street to see Taken at the movie theater. I had an interest in that film for more than one reason, and it did not disappoint. When the show ended I walked back over to Aquarius – where in 2008 this was one of the more profitable places I played in – and proceeded to play through the $225 in free-play that was already on my card.

I didn’t want to spend much time at any machine, so I went into the High Limit area to the machines I played all last year ($1-$25) and chose to play an ARTT mini-session from $1 to $10 (which in this case with limited funds, means Bonus Poker only). My first try was a loser on dollars, then a loser on my $2 hand, and finally, I hit two pair on $5. Next was a loser on $1, $2 & $5 but again, this time the two pair came on the $10 game. My next hand was on dollars, and I was dealt a straight. On my next try, I had losers again on $1, $2 & $5 but on $10 was dealt three 9’s and I drew the 4th for a $1250 W2G – my first of 2009 and because I’m not yet playing with my bankroll, I really didn’t expect any until and if I do.

The following morning I went up to Las Vegas and checked into Paris to claim my free 15.6 inch flat screen HDTV/DVD player. Putting in tons of play would’ve meant a trade-up for a larger TV, but again, I never do as the casino wants me to do. In fact, I played nothing while there. Besides, I’m just going to give this thing away when it arrives, and I am not in need of any more large flat screen TV's anyway.

Casino Monte Lago was my next stop, to play the $63 in free-play that I had coming which was remaining from last year. I made $49 on that one. My final stop was to check in at the South Point for $50 in free-play (that yielded me nothing) and a free meal at their excellent seafood bar. Afterwards, I left for home with another successful not-for-profit trip under my belt.

Eat your hearts out advantage players. I know if you did what I just did, you’d all be crowing about a trip that was worth at least $3000 after throwing in all the rooms, food, and that TV. But to me it was just a little fun mixed in with doing what I do best when it comes to casino offers and slot card “benefits”. The loss at South Point completed my free-play, and this time the take was a very pleasant -- and real -- $1469 in cash. There are never any phantom bucks involved when I report on my results.

Now to satisfy the curiosity of those who want to know what goes on regarding me on videopoker.com...and why. I am not a member of that group, but I was until sometime in mid-2007 when I was - big surprise - banned. All I did while there was argue with others, and it was the forum’s brightest of times as far as activity goes. I’ve only infrequently glanced at the posts since then, but recently because of all the e-mails I’m getting – especially from a poster called “scorpio”, I’ve spent several hours combing through just the latest threads to see what they’re talking about. And, of course, it’s still me.

The only post I’ve seen out of hundreds that even touches on some truth is how “damule” (yes I know….who’s gonna use their real identity over there?) depicts my dress as “sloppy” in my vptruth.com videos. He’s not entirely wrong. I spent the majority of 25 years wearing ties, and I have a closet full of 3-piece suits and double-breasted coats. But that stuff’s over for me, and I do not dress to impress on casino trips because I frequently carry tens of thousands of dollars. For the exact same reason that I almost always valet park, I wear jeans and T-shirts inside casinos. Duh!

Several have said I look “stoned” and am “incoherent” in some of my videos, and of course they knock my dress. I haven’t smoked weed or taken any form of illegal drugs since college, and while I always try to take two drinks a day because the medical industry says that’s better than none for a 210 lb. man, only once was it before the videos were filmed. Incoherent” Well, I’ve only heard that coming from a vp.com critic or two. A good question to ask might be, knowing my videos are an informal event filmed in various LV locations simply for information that I find important to distribute, where has the vocal criticism been on my podcast recorded professionally at Gambler’s Bookshop (GBC) that is also up on my site? They don’t do that because they know GBC has identified it as the best podcast they’ve ever done...but it also contains the same information my videos do! Hmmmm...

VP.com has this past week put in an enormous amount of time attempting to come to grips with and comprehend the machine testing I’ve been doing regarding the 5th card “flip-over” anomaly I’ve discovered within the video poker draws. They’re trying to figure whether to buckle to the facts or to just dismiss it as a non issue. Of course, the unusual amount of time they're putting into it clearly demonstrates several posters are indeed worried that I may be right, while the rest just can’t let it go away because they simply don’t want it to be the truth.

The hilarious part is I’ve never seen a group of self-proclaimed advantage players try so hard to comfort one another over something that they were obviously blindsided with. I do have to acknowledge Webman though. His perspective and opinions were based solely on reviewing the data that I supplied, and not by making up silly theories or creating details that I did not provide in my e-newsletters – as every other poster succeeded in doing. BTW—I’m still researching this phenomenon and will be reporting my continued findings as they occur. And yes Eduardo, I will bet anyone or everyone who claims the flip-over is not considerably outside the margin of error. I’ve tested 26,000 hands, and when I get through one royal cycle of about 45,000 hands and if I stay above 45% (which will not be difficult given the results thus far) then when you read about it let me know your bet’s parameters. One point of caution: Since none of you on vp.com are or will ever take the time to do the study as I have, you are not recognizing the many times that it does occur. AP’s play fast because they are all problem gamblers searching for that next hit of intermittent satisfaction as soon as they can get it. Just keep that in mind.

I believe there’s one or two posters who claim that because I’m in process of doing these machine studies where I play one credit of the lowest denomination I can find in certain casinos, I am now “a nickel player.” Yes, this is the same group of critics who less than one year ago, did not want to believe that I hit a $10 Royal in Laughlin (and ran away from my challenge bet to prove it to them in person at the casino and with W2G in-hand) but they wanted to believe I LOST $40,000 – yet they now want to believe I switched to playing 1c or 5c, even though they realize I’m only doing testing! God, these people must really have been hurt by my publishing how much I won in 2008...

One poster points out that if I really do feel the machines aren't running 100% randomly, then why would I still be training others to play for a profit with my play strategies--especially since for the time being, I've eliminated for-profit video poker from my trips that I now use exclusively for seeing how many free things and bounceback cash I can accumulate and for how long. This is actually a decent question, although the vp.com poster was trying to use it as a gotcha without knowing it.

If those on vp.com can't remember, I'll help them out like I always had to do during my time there. I haven't believed the machines have been "fair" for years now, as confirmed by my knowledge that they run in pre-programmed hot & cold cycles, along with my more recent finding that they have programmed patterns incorporated within as well. So training any player in my approach remains a far better deal than them simply chasing the math, which most strong players understand is not a viable way to beat the machines for any significant return - and is, in fact, the fastest way to lose and become a problem gambler at the same time. I always advise that now is not the time to try and win consistently, and unlike those who SELL their strategy, I have no problem telling them the truth about the game.

This fellow scorpio is being accused of being me...sort of. Critics easily get derailed when they make so many assertions that they can’t keep track. One of their favorite methods of showing they’re rattled is by claiming anyone who either writes like me, agrees partially with me, or agrees with a lot of my approaches is really me using an alias, and they do this all the time. It is a good way to describe uncontrolled paranoia.FACT: I have never posted as anyone other than myself, and if I’ve ever used anything other than my name I have identified that in my first post. But I have to admit, there is entertainment value in reading the back-and-forths about who thinks who’s posting.

I think it was “damule” again who said he lives in Phoenix and he’s never seen me in the casinos around Phoenix, teaching for pay, etc. in such a way that he must have understood that I CLAIM to do as such. That one’s simple and plenty already know why, but of course who’s going to say something truthful about me on vp.com. Other than the small amount of free-play at Harrah's Ak-Chin that I receive as a Diamond Card holder, I do not play at Indian casinos, and only unknowledgeable addicts would do so. From my studies – which include a debate on Phoenix radio 8 years ago – I cannot determine how the tribal machines are regulated and/or the extent to which they are gaffed. I hold training sessions at Harrah’s Ak-Chin at times as well as at Casino Arizona, but I would NEVER attempt to teach a class - for pay or no pay - at any one of them.

BTW damule: If you received a message from your host saying it was from me, it wasn't me for two reasons: First, I NEVER talk to hosts unless I'm trying to get an extraordinary favor and it benefits me. Anyone who talks to hosts on a regular basis does nothing more than place a red flag on their heads, they lower their computer generated offer opportunities significantly, & they identify what weak players they are to the casino. Besides, my only contact with Ak-Chin is with pre-planned meetings for an occasional training session there, and then I always leave that dump immediately. The place is a stinky, smelly, smokey cesspool, and those who play there deserve whatever they get.

Further, I’ve approached every Nevada casino where Bob Dancer has been paid at least $250/class to train players in advantage play, and I asked them if I could hold a class to train players interested in learning my play strategies, and I'd do it FOR FREE. In every case, the same answer was given: “We know who you are and what you do (contrary to one vp.com poster asserting that no one in LV knows me) and all we want out of these classes is to get and retain new players who will come in and stay for hours like Mr. Dancer does.” “We do not want the player who comes in, plays for goals, then leaves when their goals are reached.” I’ve published multiple articles on this issue in my Undeniable Truth column when I wrote for Gaming Today for 7-1/2 years, and all the background info was researched and approved by the publisher before it went into the articles.

One of the biggest lies I saw today which is constantly repeated for some reason, is that I either charge players to have me train them in my strategy, or I require they use my player’s card during the session. READ IT AND UNDERSTAND IT: I have trained literally hundreds of players at the machines over the years, I have never accepted a penny in compensation for my time whether it be 15 minutes or 4 hours or even more, and other than two times when players did not have a player’s card and did not want to get one, I have never used my card in any training session and I never will.

One final note: All posters on vp.com are not ignorant. Several have contacted me about the level of lies and misrepresentation they see going on, and I’ve even met with two of them. Why the forum finds it difficult to create activity without having me be the focus is certainly very flattering. But from what I read this morning, I’d say the biggest liar on the forum is not really taken very seriously anyway – he just amuses them with his clowning around, and I’m sure they understand his grinding envy, and why I told him that without a bankroll he shouldn’t be playing video poker. But oh wait!...Now he’s a business owner with thousands of employees! (Hahaha!) I’d love to see that website. Just hope it doesn’t include Daschle, Geithner, Rangle & friends...or I’ll have to get my whistle out!